My Baby Doll

It is but a few short weeks from my baby doll's 1st Birthday! I can not believe how fast the time has gone. And although it has been a wondrous and miraculous year my mind keeps going back to one thing. The night we found out about Gavyn's hydro and something Dr.Warner said. He made a comment that people would ask us what things Gav would be able to do and he said,
"People will ask you if he will ever walk, tell them to ask you a year from now."
I am not sure why of all things he had to say that but he did. It was etched in my memory and the closer it gets to Gav being a year the more I think about it. You don't want to compare your children but when you have a baby with specials needs you do watch that bar closely and see where they will fall. Skyler was a mover and shaker, he crawled at 8-9 months and quickly started cruising and by 9-10 months he was walking. Nevin (who knows what he would have done now if he would have been on meds for his hypo thyroid) crawled at 10 months after months of teasing me but did not walk until 18 months. Mr.Gavyn is still not crawling and by no stretch of the imagination does he show interest or intent in trying. His leg movement as always been a concern and although he has made great strides it is still far behind. They say when you shunt a baby it is like restarting the clock to zero no matter their age which would make Gav at a 9 month level. Yet, his gross motor skills are behind even for that. I know that even if he never walks and has to use a wheel chair he can still have a wonderful life full of adventurers. I do not have a clue what God has planned for him, we all know that all of my plans for my life got thrown in the garbage. It is just a wait and see game and that is the hardest part. Maybe a month from now I will post a video of his first steps. Or maybe in a year I will post pictures of him with his first set of wheels. Time will tell.

Holidays

We have successfully made it through the holiday season with 3 little men! It was so wonderful to have Mr. Gavyn part of our family this year.

Thanksgiving was a wonderful week of celebration. Gavyn was dedicated at our church the weekend before the holiday and it was truly a special day. We were surrounded by family and friends who love us and our little man. People who supported us, encouraged us and cried with us this past year. My favorite part of the day was when we all prayed over him, although he was napping in the other room. :) To hear the love and care that he is surrounded with was truly special.

Christmas was super fun with three little boys. Gavyn was totally in to getting paper off of boxes and pulling paper out of bags. He was having more fun with it than I remember either of the other two boys at his age! Of course the paper is always more fun at his age than anything else. We did get him little baby drums that play music and he loves it, super fun for "baby bang, bang."

It was a magical time of year for our family with many blessings and surprises. We are looking forward to this new year with great hope for our little man. He is doing new things every day and slowly making progress. We are confident that he will get there in time with support and love.

Sleep Overs

Tonight is Gavyn's second, yes SECOND! sleep over at Grandma's house. On the third of this month my wonderful husband surprised me with Symphony tickets at Powell Hall for my birthday. Instead of staying out our house until we got home my parents were brave enough to take all three kiddos to their house for the night. I was also brave enough to let them take my baby and keep him out of my sight for more than a few hours. The symphony was wonderful, the best date night we have ever had, I thought. But I was quick to give my parents a call when we were leaving to see how Gav was doing, he was sound asleep and being a perfect angel. When I got to their house, bright and early in the morning to pick him up I was expecting to find a pouting face little boy ready for his momma. Instead I walked into a pouting faced 4-year-old not ready to leave, a happy and excited 2-year-old and Mr. Gavyn falling asleep with PaPa for his morning nap. I know he missed me but he did not show it! :) Tonight my brother Shane and his girlfriend wanted to come and make gingerbread houses with Sky and Nev, put them to bed and let us go out for dinner as an early Christmas present. They hadn't watched the boys at night before with the extra tasks of dinner, bed and excitement so mom agreed to watch Gavyn for them. We knew he would fall asleep at her house though and there was no way to bring him home unless he woke up or we chanced him just being up for hours after being woken up. Which meant another sleep over at grandma's for little man! I cannot believe that he is doing so super amazing that I feel comfortable enough to leave him period, much less at my mom's twice in 10 days over night. Such a miracle boy.

Progress

Today was Gavyn's 9 month check up! While we were in the hall at the office getting Gav weighed his doctor walked by and just smiled at him, "Look how big Gavyn is! My how time flies..." You are telling me doc. Something about 9 months gets me sentimental and in awe that my baby is almost not a baby anymore. Only 3 short months before the 1st Birthday and a whole new world opening up to my boy. Doc was happy with his weight/height:

Weight: 18 pounds 10 ounces
Height: 26 1/2 inches

He was excited to see how well he is sitting up (man have we been working hard at that!). We talked about the non-rolling issue but he was so pleased with his sitting that it did not seem to bother him as much. Like he said, it could be because of his medical issues or it could just be his personality. With continued PT and OT I think we will get there shortly though. We all know he is capable of it, he has done it 2 times before it is just getting him to do it on a regular basis.

Gavyn loves his food (obviously by his weight!) and is eating a wide variety of fruits, veggies, grains and dairy products. It is fun to watch him explore new foods and learning how to self feed. If you hand him food in a pincer grip he does good at getting it from your hand to his using his pincer grip. If it is on the tray he is mostly still raking it to get it into his mouth.

He is all Gavyn and yet I see so many things that remind me of his brothers in him. His contentment with sitting and observing reminds of me Nevin. His fast/excited/hurried hand and arm movements remind me of Skyler. His babbling and singing remind me of Skyler and his sleeping habits remind me of Nevin. All things combined make up his own unique, sweet personality. I can't imagine life without my little Gav.

Dear Gavyn,

Some days I want to put you in a bubble where nothing can hurt you and everything will turn out fine. Other days I feel strong and am ready to push you and see what your therapists will think of next. On bad days I want to hold you and cry and try to stop my mind from thinking of all the worst case scenarios that could happen. And on good days, I just love you for the amazing and wonderful joy you are to our family. A life of never knowing you would have never been complete. A life with you taken from me would be unbearable. The day to day of right now with small victories, some set backs, and endless smiles from you is a treasure in my heart. I love you so much big boy. I know we will get over these rough times and you will be a strong man with so much to offer. It is hard for mommy to watch so many kids surpass you (and Nevin) but I know that you will both make up for it. You will have mighty characters, strong and good hearts and a caring gentle spirit even if you never walk or talk. Both of you are my precious little men. There will always be a place for you in this world and you will always be needed and loved by someone.

Kisses and hugs,
Mom

p.s.
Go kick all their butts
;-)

Mr. Gavyn

Today was Gavyn's second neurology follow up at Cardinal Glennon. That and neuro-surgery are always nerve racking because you just don't know what they will say. You hope for the best but they could always see something you are missing, right? Thankfully, Tracy the nurse practitioner thought Mr. Gavyn was doing well. She was not terribly worried about his lack of rolling since he is seeing an OT and soon a PT. She really felt with the extra eyes on him and people working with him on a weekly basis he would be getting the hang of it soon enough. I did share that he had rolled twice on Saturday but not since then. At least not that we have seen... It was comforting to hear that she believes he will catch right back up. Give him some time since he laid in a hospital bed for 21 days and was unable to move. He lost a lot of time for a little man. She was extremely happy to see him sitting up and doing it so well! He doesn't have to go back until he is 1 unless there is a major change for the worse. Of course no one is expecting that! It seems that Mr.Gavyn is starting to get a more normal routine for Doctors... back to wellness check ups and much longer periods in between Glennon trips. Slowly, slowly the turtle wins the race.

3rd Baby Charm

Yesterday we went to get our haircut. Like any good Mom taking 3 boys for haircuts I packed Skyler's back pack with books, coloring books and markers. But like a busy Mom I placed the babies carseat in a spot that I could only see if I turned around and looked, not from the mirror while I got my hair cut. I was a proud Mom that I had a quiet, cooing baby, a well behaved 2-year-old and a 4-year-old who kept checking in while I was getting pampered. About 5 minutes before I was done Skyler said something about the baby and a marker. I told him not to let Gavyn have the markers because he would put them in his mouth. He responded that Gavyn wasn't holding
marker, he had marker on him, only 1 little spot
though! I told him he better not color the baby anymore and he stayed by me until I got up. I turned around, picked up Nevin, then I saw him, Mr. Gavyn was colored head to toe! He had green on his cheeks and forehead, orange on his arms, yellow on his legs... He looked like a man ready for battle! I gave Skyler a stern warning to not color the baby again. (Although Nevin often colors himself and I feel it is a form of expression for them. But lets let Gavyn color himself when he is ready.) The girls in the shop said he was just smiling and laughing the whole time! They thought I totally knew and was OK with it. I am
OK with it, just did not know. Such a 3rd Baby, goes with the flow.