Commitment

I am not sure where or how to start this blog. I have been reading a lot of blogs from other moms who have special needs kiddos, some with autism, some with speech delay, others with downs syndrome, and the bottom line is this: it is good for my heart to read them. I have felt very isolated for almost 3 years now and just plain weird to people we meet or people we have known. Our life went from a normal family of 4 to a family of 5 with two special needs kiddos over night and now a family of 6. A lot of issues I thought I had dealt with came pouring back out of me just this week as I looked through Gavyn's baby photos that are yet to be put into an album. I never made his baby book because it was too emotional for me. I thought I was in a good place to do it and process it. I realized I'm not. I am not healed, I am not OK. I have an amazing community group though because the girls are going to come and we are having a scrapbooking partying that I am allowed to totally cry through it while I process Gavyn, again. Its a place to start. And that brings me back to the beginning of this. I realized there is still more story to tell and it might do another mom good to read what we go through. It could be different than her life or it could be strangely familiar, either way, it is good for me to write and it might be good for someone to read. I am not a resolution maker but I want to try and post something every day on here. Even if it is just my high and low for the day. Some days may be profound and others may be sad but I need to do this. I need to keep pressing on in our story and I need to keep processing it. This blog will move beyond just Gavyn and include Nevin's struggles as well and our families struggles. Process with me as I again pick this back up and keep trying to move into a better place for my heart, soul and family.